Victory is Mine!

I have finally captured the elusive 4.0. I had been chasing it for a while, but I finally caught it a couple of weeks ago. I was only taking 3 classes this last semester, but I don't think it takes away from my 4.0 because they were real pain in the butt classes... First of all, I had statistics which I thought for sure would be the end of me. I thought that I just wouldn't graduate because I would never pass statistics. To my surprise, I got a 95% in stats. Then, I had two horribly dry, tedious, sociological theory classes (classical and contemporary). Ugh. If I never have to read the original writings of Karl Marx again I won't mourn the loss. He was a very brilliant man...but damn...I've had enough. So, in summary, I had a really distracting and crazy semester and I still managed to lasso the 4.0 before the end of my college career. Many times I had been close, but close only counts in hand grenades and horse shoes. In summary, lets all take a moment to have a tiny celebration in honor of me kicking statistic's mind-crushing butt.
Hurray!

Ho Finito!

I am done!



It still hasn't really sunken in yet- but yesterday was my first day being done with school so I think that it will take a little bit to stop feeling weird. Due to the fact that I took a year off after high school to work, and proceeded to go part time while I worked part time for a while, it has taken me a little longer than I would like to graduate. However, for the last 5 or so semesters I have been taking classes every semester including summers to catch up, so I have been perpetually in classes. I keep having this instinct like I have school work to do, and then I realize not only is it the end of the semester, but I am completely finished.
I feel like this is definitely the end of one era of my life and the beginning of another. I'm not positive what I am going to do, and I have a few weeks to figure it out. So, I figured that I would start my soul searching with buying a couple of Powerball tickets...have to explore ALL of my options : )
So, thank you to all of you who have listened to me complain about my classes when they were giving me a hard time, kept in touch with me during my adventure in Italy, and for being such wonderful, unique people that inspire me every time I get to see you.

Free Hugs

Great Friends

I love my friends. They are such awesome people...they really are family.
My day started out today by going to a friend's house where she and another friend cooked this incredible brunch. Then, I went home and did some school work (yuck). After that, I went back to this friend's house because everyone was just hanging out there all day. When I pulled up it was snowing- not little flakes but those big, sticky flakes that seem like they are falling in slow motion. The first part of the roof had Christmas lights on it, and there was a speaker sitting outside that was blasting old Christmas tunes. They were in the process of hanging Christmas lights. Granted, it was in the middle of a snowstorm, but to each his own. So, while the carols rang out in the front yard, we took turns holding the lights for Kelly to compulsively straighten. Kelly is really picky about these types of things and I voiced that I thought that climbing on a ladder two stories in the air during a snowstorm was a bad idea, but per usual, she didn't listen to me. Luckily, she didn't fall and everything turned out ok (except that my hair was frozen, my fingers and toes were numb, and I was shivering uncontrollably.) After the light fiasco we baked cookies and played Monopoly. I love good old fashioned wholesome fun like that. It was definitely something I needed. Like food for the soul. I was feeling really overwhelmed, but after getting schooled at Monopoly I realized that things could be much worse. Speaking of which, don't you wish real life could be like Monopoly? like when you have sold everything you own, everything is mortgaged, you have $3 and you owe someone $550 you could just be like, "Ok. Good game. You win. I'm just going to go about my business now." Or, that you get to the roll dice to see how much you owe the electric company...that would be nice.

Here's a picture of Chris and Kelly taking a break from hanging the lights. We were all totally covered in snow like lawn ornaments.

Parade Of Lights

My favorite day of the year was yesterday. Every year around Christmas, the city of Denver has its Parade of Lights. I know that this makes me kind of a dork, but I look forward to it every year. It is especially cool because it comes down the street a block down from my apartment, so every year my friends come over and we leave at the last possible second (because it's always very cold out) and we go down the block and watch the parade. There are all different types of cultural organizations in the parade, representing Mexico, Asia, and of course...those gentiles and Santa....I didn't see any dreidels this year... their were fire twirlers, the nativity scene, Kermit the Frog, but not a menorah is sight....
But anyway, there are also a lot of high schools with their marching bands and big floats. I love when the big balloons come down the street because you can see their shadows on all the buildings and it is just so creepy and cool. I think my favorite part of the parade is the percussion section of the marching bands. There is something about that many people pounding out the same rhythm that makes it impossible to stand still.

Modern Comforts

Today, I was thinking about how happy I am to be living in the 21st century. Now, I used to think that I wanted to go back in time because I wanted to ride horses everywhere- but the reality is, that's a bad idea. First of all, it seems as though women that lived in the "wild west" were either bar maids and prostitutes, or having a baby every year and slaving over a pot bellied stove. Neither of those options really appeal to me. Add on top of that the lack of antibiotics, indoor plumbing, air conditioning and deodorant, and you've got yourself an unpleasant situation. Personally speaking, if it weren't for antibiotics, I would have died a long time ago from a staph infection so I am pro-medicine. Hurray for Penicillin. Anyway, who wants to deal with general lawlessness, lynchings, and a town run by men wielding a beer in one hand and a gun in the other? I'll pass. So there went the "wild west" idea.
So back to living in the 21st century. Today, I had my whole day planned out and this morning I wanted to take my dog to the park. I put all my dishes in the dishwasher and all my clothes in the dryer (without really thinking much about it). But, as I was leaving my house I could hear my washer sloshing around and my clothes tumbling in the dryer. I paused and thought, how cool is it that these machines are doing all this work and I get to take my dog and go to the park, avoiding all of it? I knew when I got back that my dishes would be squeaky clean and dry, and my clothes would be ready to go. And you know, it may be that we're all losing touch with reality because of the fact that we don't really have to do anything anymore, but I don't regret having the extra time in my day. I have lived without a dishwasher and a dryer, and I never enjoyed doing those things. It never brought me a sense of organic connection to life. So, cheers to the dishwashers and dryers of the world, slaving away so we don't have to! and cheers to not having to be a bar maid.

Term Papers

I just finished my last undergraduate term paper. I am sitting here a little dazed because when you're in college, it seems as though you will have to write papers for the rest of your life (I guess in some professions you would have to). I however, plan on finding a career that doesn't include the following skills that I was forced to learn in the now 16 years that I have been in school. Below are my top 5 skills that fall under the "circus monkey" category of things I was forced to learn and imagine I will never have to use again:

1. I refuse to ever use the quadratic equation. Ever, ever again. If my job depends on it, I plan on giving my boss the finger, gathering my things, and saying, "peace out."

2. I will never use mean, median, and mode again. Ever. Now, I may calculate the average of something...but I will not use the word "mean." And what the hell is median all about? I'm sorry, but I just don't see the "middle" item being an accurate way of measuring something. I mean, if it comes down to that, why bother? Why not just guess? flip a coin.

3. I will not take the time to point out argument fallacies such as a "red herring". If I decide someone is arguing poorly, I may just employ the above option of giving them the finger, gathering my things, and saying "peace out." OR, I may just kick them in the shins.

4. I will NEVER, EVER, EVER again memorize the stages of mitosis, or for that matter, meiosis. I DON"T CARE. Yeah, it was interesting the first time. You know, when I was in 6th grade. It's not that interesting anymore. I'm glad I know that's how it happens. It's no longer a mystery. Now shut up about it.

5. I also will never again try to remember the difference between reliability and validity. First of all, they go together so why the hell did someone name them with such similarly sounding names? that's bullshit. You know what's reliable? When it comes to research methods, I don't care about reliability and validity. At All.

I'm sure that I could expand my list, but these are the things that seem to really haunt me throughout school. It's not that they are that difficult- it's just that they never seem to go away. In fact, if I go to grad school someone will probably end up busting out the quadratic equation just so that I feel like I want to punch myself in the face.

Anyway, I am almost done being a circus monkey. Only a few last hoops to jump through and then I'm done....until I decide to jump through grad school hoops - which are probably ten times bigger...and flaming.

Road Trips

I have arrived safely back in Denver from my road trip. I actually got back a week ago. The trip went a lot better than I expected...the car made it the entire way without any problems, the dog slept the whole way, and we actually found our friend to stay with in Akron. It was actually really fun. I love road trips, I don't know why, but I always have. I think there are a couple of reasons. The first reason is that you are confined to a space and can't really do anything productive. Some people find that to be annoying, but I think it is very freeing. Even if you want to do something productive, you can't. It forces you to slow down and pause for a short time. Secondly, the scenery is constantly changing which I find to be very entertaining. I love driving past the little towns and wondering what it is like to live there. Road trips also make it acceptable to eat food that is delicious and terrible for you. There aren't many opportunities to eat healthily on the road and "road snacks" are essential. The glove box should have a constant stash of candy bars and snack foods in case that mid-afternoon lull kicks in. So, you sit and relax, listen to good music, and watch the changing scenery. I love how the inside of the car becomes your only reality, like the world is frozen and you are traveling across it. The only interruption to that solitude is the occasional call or message from the outside world. Other than that, it is as though the only world that exists is inside that car and at the gas station when you have to stop. I love that. Finally, there is such a feeling of accomplishment at every turn because you can physically see your progress as the mile markers count down the distance. It is like doing laundry...there is a sense of gratification from being able to see instant results.
Anyway, all these things combined make me always up for a road trip- especially if there is a giant ball of twine or largest frying pan involved....

I am about to be 25.

Wow. I can't believe how quickly time has flown by, but I am going to be 25 on Saturday. I feel like I was a little kid just a few days ago. I was feeling apprehensive about turning 25 until I got my last car insurance bill. My insurance dropped $60! I felt like giving my insurance agent a big hug. So far 25 sounds like it's going to work out...just keep the discounts coming...
I also am going to graduate in about 3 1/2 weeks. I am so excited. I know it has taken me a long time to get done, but I was thinking about it the other day, and I have done so much in the time that I have been in school. I have worked great and interesting jobs, travelled to amazing places, experienced a few different college campuses, met incredible people, and managed to learn a lot of useless trivial pursuit-worthy crap. The first 25 years of my life have been anything but ordinary, and I hope that the adventures will continue for many years to come.
And speaking of adventures, my friend Michelle and I are going to be doing a little National Lampoon's roadtrip this weekend. We'll be driving from Connecticut to Denver in hopefully 3 days (have to be back for my cap and gown measurement...). The tricky part is that we'll be driving a REALLY old Honda Civic pulling a U-Haul trailer, with Michelle's giant Rottweiler, "Lucy" in the back seat. So, if you guys don't hear from me, i'll be somewhere along I-80 between CT and CO. I think you'll be able to spot us pretty easily....

Halloween

I have always had such warm feelings about Halloween- which is funny considering the entire holiday is based on dead people. But, moving past that, I just love Halloween. Maybe I couple Halloween with Fall and the smell of the dried leaves in the grass. I think I have a lot of memories that go along with that whole time of year. Raking the leaves in the yard into giant piles and diving in them. That warm yet crisp feel to the air that lets you know you are right in between summer and fall. And lets not forget the consumption of absurd amounts of candy and junk under the guise of it being Halloween and you just have to. Plus, my Mom being the theater person that she is was thrilled for an excuse to throw on some costumes and parade around in them (sorry Mom, but you know it's true...). So my Mom always made great costumes for my brother and I. On top of all of that you have carving pumpkins and making a mess all covered in pumpkin goo. As you can see, I don't think we ever grow out of that...

I think that I have been disappointed by adult Halloween because it is never as good as kid Halloween. But that's ok. Because this year I decided to dress up and my friend and I trick or treated for UNICEF. It was great because you feel like you're doing something good AND people give you chocolate.
As you can see I was Santa, which was actually a HUGE hit. I thought people might be confused, but it turns out, no matter what time of year it is, everyone is just always psyched to see Santa. It's like they forget who they are and where they live, but oh! there's Santa! it's Santa! I call it the "Santa Phenomenon".

And check out my expert pumpkin carving skills...

Victory Is Mine....

Ok. I may or may not have tricked Isabelle into laying in her new bed.



She even has a look on her face like she's humoring me.

Isabelle's Birthday

Today is Isabelle's (A.K.A. Catfish, Shortstack, Grandma, Chick Pea, and The Little Sausage) birthday. She is 5 years old today. Because of the fact that she is so enthusiastic about everything, I can't really tell if she is especially excited about this special day or not. I got her a little dog bed for her birthday. Being the bad Mom that I am, she has never had a real bed. I always just gave her old pillows and stuff since she's so small. But, I thought since she's almost an old bag that I may as well get her a real bed. I had the bed in my car and as we were getting out at my house last night I thought to myself, oh, I need to bring up the bed. For a second I had that "but what if Isabelle sees it" thought and then I was like, get a grip. She has not only the brain the size of an almond but the memory capacity of a goldfish, so I got the bed and headed for the elevator. However, to my dismay, while standing and waiting for the elevator, I looked down and Isabelle was staring straight at the bed and wagging her tail. So I started hiding it behind my back and trying to distract her by saying things like, "Look! there's a giant zip lock bag of chewable vitamin C you could eat!", but she didn't look away. I figured once I got upstairs I would put it on the counter where she can't see and she would forget about it, which she did. This morning she seemed very excited about her new bed except now she is sleeping on her ratty old pillow right next to the bed. Very disappointing. But what can you do? She's an old woman now...set in her ways.

Coloradons

I know my last blog was about all the crazy people coming out the woodwork lately. But last night I was driving home and when I got into the city I noticed a new thing on one of the skyscrapers...someone was projecting a purple hue on almost the entire building and there were the letters, CR over the purple. This got me to thinking about what good fans people in Colorado are. We're not like some states where people go overboard and trample and shoot each other. We're loyal, we show up and hollar our brains out, and then we celebrate for as long as possible. This got me to thinking about how great people from Colorado are in general. Granted, most of the people here are from someplace else (everyone calls it the transplant state), but the people here are so great. Everyone is friendly and willing to lend a hand or give directions, people are nice to each other. Strangers all talk to each other. Now, I haven't lived in other states but from my travel experience this isn't the sentiment in most places.
Plus, it is so cute that the Colorado Rockies are going to the World Series. This is something out of one of those cheesy underdog movies. Everyone here is so excited about it, it's nuts. So, the point of this blog is GO ROCKIES! and hurray for Colorado.....

The Crazies Are Out In Full Force.

Having lived in the city for about 4 years now, I have grown accustomed to just about everything you can think of. It takes quite a bit to surprise me. I have the Denver police non-emergency line programmed in my phone and other than that, I just go about my business. The crazies definitely come in waves. After the Winter when it starts to warm up they start coming out of the woodwork around the city. That's usually the most pronounced "crazy boom" of the year, but for some reason they are everywhere right now. Even in unexpected places. Of course, you have the crazies that are homeless and mentally ill who talk to themselves and bark at walls and things of that sort. They aren't really scary because I think they are too occupied trying to get ahold of themselves that they don't even notice other people around them. Then there are the crazy panhandlers that heckle you. My very favorite is the one that dresses like Santa starting in August and sings everything from Christmas carols to the Star Spangled Banner at the top of his lungs (and horrifically, I must add). He'll walk up to you and belt out a line at the top of his lungs right at you. The surprise came from a girl in one of my classes. I'm taking this incredibly boring (required) classical sociological theory class (the name alone makes me want to fall asleep). There is this girl in my class that has been trouble from the beginning. Even if she is asking a question it comes out like an attack. At first the class laughed at her a lot and whispered and I would sit in the back of the class watching everyone (because that is what I do...maybe that's where this sociology thing comes from), but I would really feel bad for her. I thought, this is just like high school. Even in college that poor girl can't have her own opinion and speak up without being sanctioned by these twerps. However, after weeks of this and a couple outbursts (including one in the last class), I have decided that this chick is just plain old bat shit crazy. Excuse the expression, but for some reason it is in my vocabulary lately, and no Mom, I know, intelligent people don't talk like that ; ). So now I have started wondering, maybe the reason that people have always been so harsh towards those who violate social norms is because those people really are off their rocker. Maybe there is more reason to these social norms than we give them credit. Anyhow, the crazy people are everywhere right now.

The Backyard

I took a drive into the mountains today to see if I could catch the last bit of leaves changing. It is so beautiful up there. So incredible to think that this is just an hour outside of the city. Colorado is so beautiful. I have lived here almost my entire life and it still takes my breath away.

Little Bursts of Magic

I was walking home from class tonight around dusk. It's funny how you can watch the seasons change through the light if you have to be somewhere at the same time everyday. I used to walk home from my class in broad daylight, and now it's almost dark by the time I get home. (As soon as it gets a little darker I'll start driving...don't think I don't know my family who's reading this wasn't thinking that...). I was walking and listening to this great soothing Jack Johnson song and I had one of those little bursts of magic moments. The city had quieted down because most people had gone home from work and things were almost frozen in the aqua blue light of dusk. The weather was perfect. It was probably 70 degrees, maybe a little warmer, with a very gentle breeze- the kind that just grazes your skin and gets your hair just perfectly out of your face. The lights of the city were just barely starting to glow and my block turned from a big city to a little neighborhood- the only people really on the street were people that lived right there. It's so interesting living in the city because it's like it breathes in and out. In the morning it takes a deep breath and tons of people flood in like little ants. Then as it begins to get dark it exhales and it's just us. The people who call that block home. I was just strolling home in this, wishing I could walk a little slower and soak this in a little longer.
It reminded me of a movie I saw yesterday called "The Evening". There was a part where a nurse told an old woman to picture one of her happiest moments. But a moment when she was alone- and it made me think what mine would be. I would have to say that life doesn't seem any more real than when you get stuck in one of those little bursts of magic...even though by definition they don't last very long. At least we get a glimpse now and then.

Where Are My Manners?

I had to be out of my apartment for a few days because they were re-doing the hallway floors and upon arrival to my apartment this morning I realized that with all the commotion of the last couple weeks I didn't notice how icky my house has become. So, I started cleaning and as I was vacuuming New Clean Couch I realized that I never introduced you. Everyone got to see Green Couch depart but missed the new arrival. So allow me to introduce you to New Clean Couch :




When New Clean Couch arrived at my house I was a little apprehensive at first. It felt stiff and we were uncomfortable around each other for a while. But then we bonded over a very extended "Lost" marathon where I had to catch up on 3 seasons. We were together through the intense moments, during the laughs, and finally at the season finale. After that we became thick as thieves and have been inseparable ever since.

New Clean Couch is very soft. It feels vulnerable around Isabelle, the vomit machine, because of it's "fair" complexion. I keep telling it not to worry, that Isabelle has taken to throwing up on the floor these days, instead of the furniture. I even vacuumed New Clean Couch today, deciding that it would not become one of those couches where if something falls in the crack you just leave it because you fear what else is down there. I will not fear under the cushions anymore. I'm taking control of New Clean Couches' destiny to stay clean.

Now that you have all met, you'll have to come visit sometime for a sit.

Quote of the day:

"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society." - Mark Twain

Overachieving

Some life lessons courtesy of the "De-motivators", just in case anyone reading this may need some good advice.



AND....

My brother

So, anyone that knows my brother and I knows that we started off a little rocky. He was the center of the universe and then I came along all dirty and whiny and I stole his thunder. For the first 10 years or so we spent our days fighting, manipulating each other, and smacking each other (someone had to sit in between us when we went somewhere in the car, so this meant that we were smacking each other OVER the person in the middle ). One of us would annoy the other, some sort of physical violence would ensue, and then I would implement the whining technique. This happened over and over for years. Our mom even cancelled Mother's Day one year because the two of us couldn't stop fighting long enough to wish her a Happy Mother's Day. There are a ton of pictures of us as kids because the only way we would instantly stop strangling each other was if my Mom pulled out the camera. Most of the pictures you can see James has a tight grip around my neck area.... Anyway, for years I have replayed all of the stories of James trying to kill me. Flinging me off the hammock (claims it was an "accident"), rolling me down the stairs in a suitcase (claims I "volunteered"), and even closing me in the garage door (still haven't actually heard the explanation for that one...). I realized I haven't told the stories about how he became a really great big brother. I was reminded of this because if you read the last blog, I was having a statistics meltdown. James sat on the phone with me for a long time and told me exactly what to do, and if it weren't for him, I don't think I would have gotten my work done in time. It reminded me of a time when I was starting high school. We went to a high school that was the size of a community college and it had a huge campus with many buildings. I had been sick the day my middle school got a tour and I had never stepped foot on the campus until my first day of 9th grade. I was so scared I wouldn't be able to find my classes. So, the night before, James drew me a map and a little course of how to get from one class to another. The next morning, he drove me to school (he was a senior) and I went on my own, terrified. There was one class I was particularly worried about finding. But, I pulled out the map, followed the line, and I found the room. I sat down in the class and I was so anxious because it was high school and there were a million kids everywhere, and I was lost all the time. I looked up and saw James looking through the window of the classroom. He had stopped by to make sure I had gotten there ok.
Even now when I remember that day I get teary because it was just the nicest thing. Following in Salkin tradition, when I looked up and saw him I did start crying a little and I immediately thought, oh this is great. First day of high school and I am going to be known as the girl that cries for no reason....
But anyway the point is that my brother stopped trying to kill me a long time ago, and I am so glad that we are friends. I just look at the first ten years as a hazing ritual...and now i'm in the gang...

I hate doing statistics.

I don't hate statistics- in fact, I like statistics. I like knowing useless information like how much the average human head weighs or how many people can chew gum AND rub their stomachs at the same time. I like that crap. HOWEVER. I do not like doing it. I prefer to read about it in a magazine or the newspaper but certainly not create it myself on my very own Excel spreadsheet. Which brings me to my next topic. My fiery hot hatred for Excel. I am sure it is a brilliant program and I am happy that whomever calculates the average head weight has it in their toolbelt. I however wish I had never heard of it. Like all of the other things that we choose not to learn about. When I flush the toilet, I don't wonder where exactly it goes...just as long as it goes. Same thing with Excel spreadsheets. I don't care how the people who come up with random and important statistics come up with them. That doesn't concern me. They should all be underground using this program in secret.
I have homework due in 24 hours that involves this Excel spread sheet and I actually getting along. Right now, we are not speaking eachothers language. I say something, and then it does something totally opposite of what I thought I was asking (one of my favorites being shutting down completely...love that.) I know it is not the spreadsheet's fault that I am a moron with A.D.D. and can't stand doing this crap on a Sunday afternoon. I know. But it still doesn't get to avoid my fiery hot hatred for it. If I could turn my spreadsheet into a physical thing I would tar and feather it first. Then I would burn it's edges...slowly. Finally, I would tell it that it can either make the elusive "data analysis" option that I CAN'T FIND ON MY FRICKEN COMPUTER appear, or it will be taking a flying leap out of my fourth story window...flaming all the way down. In my little fantasy it caves under the pressure, stops hiding the data analysis option, and I go about my spreadsheet work with uninterrupted cooperation. Oh I hope all of my Excel dreams come true.

19,900 Days

I was forwarded an e-mail yesterday that had a link to a website that calculates your approximate life expectancy. So, I went out of curiosity. I answered all of the questions honestly, and to my surprise, my actual age right now is around 20- instead of almost 25. At the very end, it informed me that I should expect to live around another 19,900 days.
Anyone that knows me well knows that I have a little bit of a death phobia...well actually, not really a phobia because that would suggest it's an irrational fear, and who isn't a little worried about dying? So when I was given this number of days I sat there for a minute and tried to decide if that sounded like a lot of days or not. How do you wrap your brain around almost 20,000 days? I can't really picture it. Even though it's a huge number, my first instinct was to be like, "oh my god. There's a estimate. I am going to die and it will only be in 19,900 days." Then I thought, "would it be cheating if I rounded up to 20,000? I mean that is almost 1/3 of a year...". I really almost flew into a panic about what seemed to be a new countdown that had begun in my head. Then I stopped panicking (don't know how that happened), and started thinking about all of the possible things that can happen in my remaining days. On my birthday in two months I will have been alive for approximately 9,131 days. That means I am around a third of my way through life. To think about all the crazy things I have already done with my "used" days...I can only imagine how exciting the next 20,000 (ok, I AM rounding up) will be. All the places i'll go and people i'll meet...I just hope it doesn't slow down. You know when you're a little kid how you have your hands in everything? you do everything and try everything. If something looks like fun you whine until eventually you get to try it? I hope that curiousity and desire to participate in life never goes away.
On another note...I calculated Isabelle's days...she only has 3,652 days left to vomit on my stuff and eat lint off the floor. I told her but it didn't seem to phase her. She seems ok with it. This also means that my "new, pretty couch" has approximately 3,652 days to avoid being the victim of any number of Isabelle's projectile incidents. Lets keep our fingers crossed.

Here is the link if you want to give yourself a mid-life crisis...

http://www.peterrussell.dreamhosters.com/Odds/RealAge.php

Holy Cow.

Have you ever stopped to think about how many things you are storing inside your 8lb head all at once? There is so much stuff...I need to go to the store, don't forget the milk. I have this, this, this, and this due by Friday. Dinner with Mom on Sunday. Take the dog for a walk. Do the laundry- oh yeah, don't forget detergent at the store. Pay utility bill. I wonder how so and so is doing? I should call her. Why isn't my internet working? maybe I should call the tech support people. What should I wear today?
And that's all the superficial life stuff. That doesn't even count the small traumas that pop up here and there- or the ones that linger around for a while until you feel like you're suffocating in your own skin. Don't worry, i'm not losing it. But, I kind of was this weekend. There is so much piling up. I took off and went with friends up to the mountains. My best friends. And they did a great job. They taught me how to play beer pong and I partied like I was 18 and really immature, but it was fun. However, my brain was still running, running, running. I am the kind of person who can sleep anywhere, anytime. But when I am worried I can't sleep. So by the time I got home yesterday, I was still working on getting rid of a hangover, and I had gotten 6 hours of sleep in 36 hours. And I was still worried. Now, worrying runs in my family like anything else you can get from your parents. We are experts at it. There are generations and generations of worriers that have passed down the perfected technique. Needless to say, I was kind of a mess yesterday. As I was driving down the mountain all I wanted to do was turn around and go right back up, hide a little bit more.
BUT that is not the point to this rambling blog. The point is that I finally fell asleep last night and got a good 7 hours. When I woke up this morning, the weather was cold and grey- just like I like it. I put on make-up for the first time in 4 days. I realized that it is really amazing how much a good nights sleep and some make-up can change your whole perspective on things. I feel rejuvenated and I am going to stop worrying like a crazy person, quiet my head, and do one thing at a time.
It just seems so funny to me that with all of that stupid stuff running through our heads all the time, it would only be right if something equally stupid made it all seem ok- like putting on make-up. I sometimes wonder if life is one big cosmic joke.

Country Fair

I was in Massachusetts and Connecticut this past weekend. I went there for a wedding (which was wonderful, and so fun to see all my family). The day before the wedding I was in Connecticut with my friend from Italy. She took me to a country fair in Woodstock, CT. It was so entertaining. Between the food, the animals, and the people, there was a lot to see. First, I saw some 900 lb, blue ribbon winning pumpkins. These things were amazingly huge. Next, we saw the tractor pull. I don't really understand the draw of this "sport". I mean, I can wrap my brain around men fixing up their tractors and trying to pull irrelevant, heavy crap. That part makes total sense to me, I mean, they're guys. They have to find some way to spend time doing something that involves breaking things with great force or pulling things. But the audience sucked. I mean, there were no hoots, no hollers. Just silence as these old men on tractors pulled a pile of cement rectangles (I'm sure they have a real name). I was standing there with my funnel cake thinking, "we need some audience participation here". I didn't even like the tractor pull and I felt like they needed a mascot or something.
Anyway, it was really fun. It was great to see Michelle and drive around the country towns. It was also great being in Boston and seeing all my family. Overall, it was a good weekend with some interesting events molded into one.

Camping

As I was packing on Friday for our camping trip Isabelle was lying on the couch looking at me like, "I beg you...don't make me go..."

It was pretty entertaining because there were 4 girls and 4 dogs. We went to a place that allowed dogs but informed us when we arrived that they had to be on a leash at all times which was interesting. Our weekend consisted of dogs hog-tying each other and pulling out our arm sockets (except for me of course). Isabelle looked at me the entire weekend like, "Really? We're really sleeping out here? what is wrong with you people?". Every time I went to grab something out of my car she would walk over and get in her "pick me up and put me in the car" position. As soon as she realized we weren't going anywhere she would just look disappointed and walk away. She really did well though. She was definately the only Chihuahua at the lake. It was fun, I got some good smore time in, and now I am excited to sleep in a bed.

My Last First Day

School started up again yesterday. I was walking to class (in what seemed like more of a zoo than ever) when it occurred to me that it might be my last first day of school. Now, the chance of me going back to school is pretty good, AND I don't want to count my chickens before they hatch. I won't feel done until the last day. But just the idea is such a relief and so exciting. So I met with my advisor today to make sure everything was in order. Sure enough, I am set to graduate and I just did my online "intent to graduate form". I'm just so excited to be done. If I really think about it, it has just been years of jumping through hoops like a circus monkey- I have felt like that the whole time, and I honestly feel more like I beat the circus or found the cheese in a maze than having gotten a higher education. Not to say I haven't learned a lot, because I have. But I feel like it's been more about the hoops. And now I am going to WIN. I am about to beat the circus. So I rule. I think when I get my cap and gown I will wear it for like a week straight.

The Moonlight Classic

Last night (this morning), I rode in my first Moonlight Classic. It is a charity bike ride benefiting senior citizens and it starts at midnight. The bike ride is about 15 miles and it is broken up with three rest stops (and for some people multiple bars). It was SO much fun. There were about 6,000 people who rode in it. It begins at the state capital and then weaves around Denver's historic areas. The streets are basically shut down and there are police at every intersection directing traffic. It is pretty crazy. People dress up in costumes and some people have pretty interesting bikes that they're riding. It's definately an experience to ride a bike in the middle of the road (and at times in the rain) with a hoard of people....a little intense sometimes...but our group didn't have any casualties. I was sometimes reminded of a steeple chase where everyone takes off at once and someone falls and the next thirty people behind them all pile up on top of each other. It was so much fun though. However, I forgot to stretch after this 15 mile ride and now I feel like my legs will never recover. They actually woke me up this morning because they were throbbing. All of my friends and I agree that the bike seats were not kind to our bums either...we're all sitting on pillows today. In one of the pics you can see some people that were in our group. They glued hair curlers to their bike helmets and had moo moos (sp.?) on.

I Went Riding Today.

My parents tell me a story about when I was a little kid and we went on a trail ride in the mountains. I was riding double with my Dad and I was so comfortable on the back of that horse that the movement lulled me to sleep, and I slept for the rest of the ride.
Not long after that I grew up on the back of a horse. I spent every available day at the barn with my friends and our horses. If I couldn't get a ride there I rode my bike, if the weather wasn't good we rode anyway. We couldn't get enough, we never tired of the horses.
Even when I was a bratty teenager if I had a disagreement at my house, people always knew where to find me-with my nose buried in my horses' neck. Horses are addicting. Ask any person that rides and they will tell you they never lose the desire to ride again, even if they haven't seen a horse in years. It just sits dormant in you until you have a ride and then you feel like a different person when you're done. I was just recently joking with a horseback riding friend of mine. We were saying that its obvious why we were such tough kids- we grew up bossing mammoth beasts around, getting tossed in the dirt, stepped on, kicked, bitten, and sometimes smashed. Talk about character building. Not many 10 year olds can get crushed under a horse, stand up bloody, and hop back on to do it again. We asked for it though. Cara and I used to play "Water Warriors" which was a game we invented down in our local stream. We would wait for the river to be up to the horses' chests and then we would stand facing each other about 100 feet apart. At the signal we would charge each other in the water and try to knock the other person off their horse. First person in the water lost. It was a great game until I almost drowned Cara and we stopped playing...but I would have made one hell of a jouster.
I went riding with Cara today. It was so beautiful, out in the middle of the plains with the mountains jutting out. We came to a bridal path that went straight and wide for a good stretch, so we raced. There is nothing more amazing than the feeling of galloping full speed on the back of a powerful horse. We take off and you feel them quickly getting speed, propelled from behind like there are two jet engines back there. Their bodies get low and their heads and necks stretch out. You lean forward (cause you want to win) and egg them on. You get a good grip on the reins just in case and you give them their head and just let them fly. You're neck and neck and you hear the sound of their eight hooves beating the ground. There is always a few seconds in a good race where you realize that you are going as fast as you can go, and that is when the danger sets in. You know that at this speed the horse cannot control their feet very well and one false step will send you flying at 30 miles an hour with a 1000lb animal close behind you. But there is something about all the other things combined with that momentary flash of fear that make it even more surreal. And then you have a choice- pull them up and feel safe, or push them on and give up the control. If you choose to push them on, you will feel more free in that 10 or so seconds than you have in years.
You know after a good ride like that, you have just gotten your therapy, and your fix.

The Short Stack

I was cleaning out my drawers yesterday and found the only negatives I have of Isabelle as a puppy. It's so stupid too, because I vividly remember making a conscious effort to take lots of pictures- I guess that only applied to this one role, that one day. Oh well. But of all of the pictures I have of Isabelle, these puppy pictures have so much character. Isabelle has always been very photogenic and very willing to pose.... She weighed 1.5 lbs when I brought her home. I remember when I was getting her, a lady in the pet store (VERY BAD! Never get a dog from a pet store, I was weak), said, "You two are going to have so many good times together". I think about that a lot. Isabelle is a great dog. I've had her now almost 5 years-and it took a while to figure each other out. For a while I thought she was put on this earth to teach me a lesson, which would be unwavering responsibility (and I guess that you should always listen to your mother....). But now, we're just best buds. There is nothing more settling than sitting on the couch with your dog asleep behind your head. She snuggles under the covers at night, and is contentedly sleeping on my lap as we speak. I just love her. She has taught me a lot about myself, and I am so glad that I didn't kill her when she ate Vitamin C and vomited it all over my sofa. Anyway, this blog is in honor of my friend Isabelle.

Shelter Shoes

I threw away my shelter shoes today.
This last Saturday was my last day as an employee at the Colorado Humane Society. The separation was bitter sweet- I have been at the shelter so long that it is part of who I have become. I love my friends there and the dogs, but I just couldn't do it anymore. The people that come into that place have become more than I can handle anymore. Of course there are great people looking to adopt pets, but lately it seems like they are far outnumbered by scum of the earth people who have no respect for their lives let alone that of a defenseless animal. When I started at the shelter I was just learning about "customer service" and I had a bright outlook and hope for everything. The more time that went by, the more jaded I got- to the point where I was constantly on the defense and surprised when people were really nice to me. Lately, I have noticed that I have become like that even when I'm not at work. The job was destroying my view of people in general, and that scares me because I know I am a nice, upbeat person. The past few weeks I found myself dreading going in for work and counting the hours until it was over, and that's how I knew I was done. It's been 5 years- and this is a hard job. It's a heavy burden to bear and I don't know how the other people at the shelter have been doing this full time for so much longer.
Of course I plan on volunteering as often as possible, but this way it will be on my own time and I can enjoy the parts of the shelter that I love and step back from the parts that are bringing me down. I do have a spare pair of shelter shoes...
In the meantime, I feel like I am in a huge transition in my life. I will be done with school next semester and I feel the change coming. I've been cleaning my house all day and I finally completely emptied my suitcase from Italy. Yep. Took me 3 months... but now it's in my closet. After all of this change this weekend I feel an odd sense of calm and transition, and I think it's going to be really good.

Procrastination and Cleaning

The only time I ever get the undeniable urge to clean my house is during finals week. That must be my order of dislikeable tasks...#1 on the list- studying. #2- cleaning. I will clean to avoid school work. Ironically, my house is always messiest leading up to finals week so it really feeds the urge to clean. I have to actually MAKE myself not clean and do my school work. Then, when I have finished my work I allow myself to clean and I just unleash on my house. It will be the most thorough cleaning of the semester...so, in theory, I deep clean my house quarterly... Right now is one of those times that I am sitting in a pile of scrap paper, surrounded by misplaced junk, and all I want to do is clean like a maniac. However, I know it is just my zany brain trying to avoid studying so I have to resist. You know your house is too messy when you keep dropping things and just leaving them there because you think, "what's the use? everything else is on the floor..."

I WANT MY VACATION!

I have two more weeks and then I am off to California. I cannot wait. This semester of school has been so frustrating, tedious, and sleep inducing I just want it to be over so badly. Plus, I get to see so many of my family and friends! I didn't realize just how many people I love are in California. So, everyone get ready, I'm coming your way...counting the days!
I would also like to take a moment and talk about air conditioning. I didn't grow up with air conditioning and ever since I have lived on my own in apartments I just don't think I could live without it. My air conditioning broke this weekend- a weekend with highs in the triple digits- and I actually had to leave my house. I know a lot of people who don't have air conditioning and while they don't enjoy it, they get by. But I was thinking about this last night- you know, there is a correlation between the temperature and crime rates. When the temperature goes up, crime follows (there is a joke in sociology that there is a correlation between ice cream sales and murder rates). Just think, if everyone had air conditioning maybe the world would be a better place. Think about the countries that have the most problems with violence and war, and most of them are in damn hot parts of the world. So maybe instead of looking for weapons of mass destruction we should have been installing window air conditioning units..I can see it now...the helicopters hovering overhead and dropping parachuted window units...just a thought...

Live TV

I woke up really early this morning to go to the gym. I've been trying to work out at least 3 times a week but have been striving for 5 and I keep getting hung up on my schedule. So I thought about all of those people that wake up at the crack of dawn to work out before going to work. I decided I should try it and see how it works. The jury is still out, but that's not exactly what this blog is about...
So it was about 7:30 AM and I'm running on the treadmill. There were only a few people in the room because most of the business crowd works out around 6:30 AM. I know because half the women in the city were standing in the locker room when I arrived. They were naked and doing their hair, which is another thing I don't get. I mean, go you if you are that comfortable naked in public but seriously...is it really necessary? I mean, maybe just a little underwear...I think some things should be saved for the privacy of your own home...but that's not what this blog is about either. Another day.
SO. I am running and watching the local morning news. The news desk people start a story by saying, "The dog your about to see works harder than most people and does things most dogs can't do." And there is this news guy on location interviewing a local police officer with the Denver Police Department. This particular officer was part of a canine unit and he was going to do a demo with his dog. The first thing that cracked me up was the news guy kept saying that the dog was a "canine dog" like that is the name for a police dog. I'm thinking, dude, that is like one of two species names that people know. Canine and feline. You're calling the dog a dog dog. You sound like an idiot. But it gets better. So the cop says that there is another cop hiding in the police station posing as the bad guy and the police dog is going to find this guy. So the cop lets the German Shepherd go and the news guy and his crew start following the dog as he runs around the building. The dog runs into what looks like a locker room, kind of looks around confused, and then proceeds to take a big poop in the middle of the room. You can actually hear the camera man chuckling because he's the only one in the doorway filming the dog. Then the dog finishes and kind of looks around like, "shit man, I don't know where the dude is". It is a total failure. So the poor embarassed cop comes running in and points to a closed door. The dog gets this look like, "Oh ok. He's in the closet huh? I guess I'll have to figure out how to open the door without thumbs asshole..." and so the dog jumped up and starting biting at the door knob, to no avail. He can't get it. So the cop now looking really disheartened grabs the dog and shouts for the "fugitive" to come out or the dog will attack. I was thinking he should have said, "watch your step, there's shit everywhere" but he didn't.
Meanwhile, I'm running and looking around like, is anyone else seeing this? the kicker was that the this was all live and the news desk people were laughing HYSTERICALLY, you can't see them. Can only hear them. And then it goes to the female news caster and she says, "Well. I think every dog does that trick, Ed."

I just love this picture.

I FINALLY FINISHED MY PAPER. I have been stressing out all week. One of those things where you feel like you are drowning in your own stack of "to-do's". I had an 8 page research paper due tomorrow. The kicker was it was on suicide ( I didn't get to choose the topic). However, going to work and then spending my Friday and Saturday nights sitting here reading about people killing themselves makes me inclined to jump in the river. My friends recommended I just write 2 pages and then say that this paper was pushing me over my emotional edge and I had to stop. However, I opted to do the work. Although the paper isn't great, it's done, and that's all that matters to me right now. Then, as I was going through some documents on my computer I came across this picture and it made me smile.

Sorry So Sporadic

I don't even really have anything to talk about. Life has been going non-stop for weeks now. I don't know where the days are going. They zip by and I just feel lucky to have gotten anything done at all. I feel like my list of "to do's" is just getting longer and longer. But, what are you going to do? Just one thing at a time. My classes right now are so tedious. I'll be really excited in a few weeks when these long summer classes are over.
Anyway, just wanted everyone to know i'm still over here clicking away, just less often...

Finally Finished

About 2 years ago I was in Rome with my Mom and brother and I saw these outdoor lamps that were white and looked a little like boney trees. I have always had an odd fascination with lights so when I got home I decided to try to build my own version of one of those trees. Over time I gathered materials and worked on it bit by bit. But then I went to Italy and left it on my floor where it had been sitting for a few months already. The other day I decided to finish it and yesterday it happened. Now, it's just a "prototype", but I must say that it turned out pretty damn good. It is only vaguely like the one in Rome but I like that better because I turned it into what I needed. It seems like a small accomplishment, but I have come to realize that being able to conceptualize and design something and then actually build it is no small task- and not something that everyone can do. I had specific criteria that I needed the lamp to meet. One being that it needed to be assembled in pieces so that when I want to move I can take it with me. So the lamp detaches and becomes two pieces.
Anyway, that was my accomplishment yesterday and it looks great in my apartment. The picture doesn't really do it justice. I'm sure my neighbors are excited that I am finished also- as I was sitting in my living room drilling through aluminum and hammering away I bet they were wondering what the hell I was up to.

Rock Show

I love a good rock show. I don't get to go all the time, but I make a point of doing it as often as possible. I hadn't been to one in quite some time because of being away. My friend and I went to see "Breaking Benjamin" tonight. My mom always makes fun of the band's names. In fact, I spoke with her earlier and she said, "Which band are you seeing? 'Badly Shredded Tires?'"
I don't like heavy metal, but I do enjoy a good rock band. When you first walk into a full venue, there is almost a cloud of energy just hovering above the people. The band comes out, the lights go out, and the show begins. I love the loudness of it. The thumping of the subs and the strobing lights seem to just swallow you up. I always feel so drained afterwards, but in a good way. It's like the music sucks up all of the energy, both good and bad, and it just swirls around the room.
It was a great show, i've had my "music therapy", and now i'll be good for a while.

Repetitive Noises and Stupid People

I think there need to be revised rules regarding etiquette when in public and because I seem to be the only person who notices these things, I will volunteer myself to be the person for the job.

Rule #1- If you are clanking two solid objects together, they ARE making a noise. Just because you have your headphones on and can't hear it, doesn't mean it isn't happening in the reality of the real world. When people stare at you like they want to rip your face off, it means you are annoying them and can probably jump to the conclusion that it is due to the repetitive noise that you are making.

Rule #2- Talking to yourself is some situations is expected. Some of my very favorite people talk to themselves occasionally, and it is just fine. However, it is an entirely different animal if you choose to sit and talk to open space. If i'm sitting next to you and I don't know you, I don't care if you can see the chalkboard, if you did your reading for the class, or if you got a question right. These vocal outbursts only signify to me that you are of such little intelligence that you need someone with you to help you at all times and this certainly does not make me want to be the person sitting next to you. EVER.

Rule #3- Every time you clear your throat, someone hears you. To imagine that the sound of you clearing your throat is something that only you have to experience is more evidence of how self-centered people in today's society are. When you clear your throat every ten seconds or suck air through your teeth after you eat, people hear you-and it makes me want to stick my pen through my eye hole, into my brain, and jiggle it around until I can't hear you anymore. If you have to clear your throat more than once, you should just take the plunge and COUGH. I dare you to try it.

The moral of these rules is that if you are making a noise that isn't enclosed in your own head, people around you can hear it. Presuming that people want to hear you whistle, clear your throat, tap your pen, suck your teeth, or talk outloud to no one is the most blatant statement of self-centered idiocracy that a person can make.

How the hell am I expected to study Aristotle while the stupid people are making noises?

The Land Before Time and My Dog

This is a totally random blog post, but there are a couple of things I would like to discuss this evening. First off, the other morning I was watching "The Land Before Time". You know, the one about the dinosaurs and the big earthquake and all those little dinosaurs are looking for the "Great Valley" and their surviving relatives. Can you believe that film was made in 1988? Plus, I had no idea that Steven Spielberg and George Lucas were producers. What really gets me is that I have aged probably ten years since I saw that movie last. I'll bet you money that I have cried every time I have seen that movie. I'm sure I cried in 1988, 1997, definately balled like a baby a couple days ago and I am sure I will cry every time I see it in the future. I mean, when Little Foot sees his own shadow and thinks it's his mother...if you don't shed a tear there you can't possibly be human. And little Ducky and Petre? they're so cute I want to go back in time, find them, and keep them in my apartment. There were so many valuable life lessons in that flick too. Anyway, I was touched and now I feel the urge to rent "The Brave Little Toaster". Seeing that movie as a child is probably the reason that I have written two previous posts about my couch, and why I made my brother hold his cell phone up to the steering wheel of my first car so I could say goodbye, (sorry about that James). But, good movie anyway...what's the harm in giving inanimate objects human characteristics? besides nerotic obsession with their feelings....

Second topic of the evening- I think my dog has restless leg syndrome or insomnia or something. I couldn't figure out why I have been so tired for the last couple weeks and then I figured it out this morning. I forget by morning, but every night my dog keeps tossing around and waking me up. She's usually a very sound sleeper, but lately she is restless. She'll be tossing around and I'll be like, "Isabelle! for Christ's sake lay down!" That's actually probably nicer than what I say, but she stops right away...

So, the moral of this pointless post (if you're still reading because it is so stupid I wouldn't blame you if you clicked the little X on the window...) is that at 24 "The Land Before Time" is still sad. Actually, to dig deeper, since I still cry at that movie it is probably a sign that like my mother, I am destined to cry at the "fabric of our lives" cotton commercials.
AND my dog is finding new ways to be a pain in my ass even though I love her and am glad she's around. That's it. Do you feel a little dumber for having read this?

Goodbye Green Polka Dot Couch

The Death of a Legend

I have done it.
I bought a new couch last week.
It has taken me a very long time to get to this point- just ask my family and friends. My Mom has been BEGGING me for years to get rid of the green couch or at least get it re-covered. I just never found anything that could take it's legendary place. Truthfully, I still haven't. The new couch is going to be great- but nothing could fill the shoes of the green couch. So, the junkman is picking up the green couch tomorrow morning. I mean, just look at it. Not a loose cushion left, big hole in the middle, and don't even flip the cushion over.....you're seeing the good side. Plus, sometimes when I get up the loose piping trips me and it rips just a little bit more...
Here is the obituary for the green couch:

GREEN POLKA DOT COUCH
1984-present

Green Polka Dot Couch sent to the junkman on Monday June 4, 2007. Couch survived by Kate Lindenbaum, Isabelle Lindenbaum and New Clean Couch (to be delivered Tuesday). Green Polka Dot Couch had lived a very long and fruitful life in Colorado and was used for entertaining, comfort and relaxation, and pillow forts. Green couch survived many rough incidents in its life- spilling, burning, ripping, the loss of all of its loose cushions, and the worst of all- The Isabelle vomiting incident (proof that Vitamic C goo does NOT come out and only looks like a giant blood stain once dried- Junkman, I did not murder someone on the couch). Although all these terrible things happened to green couch, it still pressed on providing comfort for the weary. Green couch will always be remembered for its perseverance and longevity as well as its committment to the relaxation of the people on it.
Thank you green couch and rest in peace.

I've Had It With Beef

Ok, so it's delicious and I like it in certain things. I like a good filet keeping some mash potatoes company. I love Philly Cheesesteak sandwiches (if those really count as beef, I mean, do we really know what that is?), and then there is my favorite...corned beef. I'm a fan of big juicy hamburgers (although, I'm not so sure it's the beef that I like there, but rather the pickles and lettuce and all those great condiments). Anyway, the point is that I like it.
My cholesterol however does not like it so much and so I have cut it almost completely from my diet. Now, my new war against beef comes at a funny time because one of my best friends, Cara, has just recently shared with me why she won't eat chicken. Her theory is that because chicken is sometimes so genetically modified (example, McDonalds making their chickens have huge breasts etc.) that it is terrible for you. She regaled us with grotesque tales of chickens with no feet, who never touch the ground blah blah blah we already know. I personally only get organic free range chicken and eggs when I do have to buy it so that I can at least THINK that the chickens weren't mutants before they were in my refrigerator. However, in this same debate (which by the way took place over some beers next to the lake with our fishing poles and some very confused looking guys that we had just met) I tried to tell Cara that while her theory about chicken may be true, eating beef and pork is just as disgusting and dangerous. I found the fact that she refused to eat only chicken on those grounds was ludicrous. She has this image of happy California cows out in a green pastures munching away on some lush grass. I tried to tell her that those farms do horrible things to them and feed them cow, etc., but she wouldn't listen. We started to scare our new friends at our heated livestock debate and so we let it go.
But I learned a new word today in biology class and that word is Prion. Ever heard of prions? I had not, so I am going to assume most of you hadn't as well and explain it to you (I took good notes). A prion is a protein found on cells in the nervous system. They're good yada yada yada. Now sometimes, prions mutate- it happens- you know, "Mutated Prions Happen".
Anyway, that is ok. But when these mutated prions somehow get loose from their cells (scientists still don't know why they mutate or how they get loose) they become really bad prions. When these evildoer prions meet normal, good citizen prions they mutate them as well. Eventually, they follow the nervous system up to the brain and mutate all of the prions up there (this takes a bit of time ) until the host of the said brain and nervous system loses coordination, gets dementia, and eventually dies...very slowly.
This my friends is Mad Cow Disease, Chronic Wasting Disease, etc.
The tricky thing about these mysterious mutated prions is that they are indestructable. Nothing kills them. While prions disease is very rare, it is in the United States along with both the other above diseases. A few years ago there was a man getting brain surgery (can't remember which state) and a few weeks later the doctors realized he had prions disease. Problem is that the sterilization process for surgery tools does not kill mutated prions and therefore any patient that had surgery with those same tools following his surgery could possibly be infected.
It is still very difficult to test cows for Mad Cow disease until they are 2 years old or older- this is often times older then they are when they go to slaughter. Not only is the public in danger from eating a slaughtered Mad Cow Disease cow, but the slaughterhouse equipment used to process the meat will contaminate every other piece of meat that goes through those machines.
They say the incubation period for these diseases is around 10 years so the people that could be effected by this disease won't even know for quite some time.
And that is why I am waging war against the cow. I'm sure it's too late because if I was going to get the disease I've already been exposed for a long time but I figure, it can't hurt my odds. Plus, it will help my cholesterol.
So, that is your biology lesson for the day compliments of me...and all you Atkins dieters out there may want to switch to tofu because nothing is safe now-you can cook that steak 'till the cows come home- pun intended- and those prions will just laugh in your face...duh duh dahhhhhhhhhh.

I Watched 4 Movies Today

And it was awesome. I had a bunch of plans for the day, but I went to the gym, sat down on my couch afterwards, and never moved again.
I don't feel too badly about it though. First of all, two of the movies I watched were actually documentaries on a couple of very interesting topics. The first movie was called "This Film Is Not Yet Rated" and is about our twisted, biased, archaic rating system that is in use today for the media (mainly film). It was really interesting. I have always been interested in censorship issues and have known that the MPAA was a pretty insufficient system for censoring film, but this really enlightened me as to how much everything we see and hear is being fed to us. Pretty scary.
The second documentary was called "F*ck" and is about the word, it's origins, and how people's opinions differ about it. I love this topic because first of all, now that I am an adult, I can admit that I love using profanity. Of course, there is a time and a place, but I agree with many people in this film that profanity (especially the f-word in particular) is very helpful in really getting the strength of the point across, and I'm a fan. You can't use it all the time, or it would lose its magic. You have to save it for those special times when you can drop the f-bomb at the right moment and you can feel it shake the air around your face, you know? It is also really interesting to think about how this word has been around for hundreds of years (first published in the 1600's, but has been around since before that time) and originally only had one meaning. I think it says a lot about society (the American society in particular) that so much importance can be given to a word. A word that really isn't unlike any other word, but since people say it's bad, it must be. It's just funny, and idiotic. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions but I personally think that if people (mostly in Americans) would just unclench a little, they would find that they really only need to be in an uproar about maybe 1/4 of what they're always bitching about. And it doesn't matter if the right wing MPAA (which by the way has 2 clergy members on their appeals board at all times, and I KNOW they don't share MY viewpoints) and the FCC bans the media from using the f-word, kids are still going to hear it out of their parent's own mouths or their friends mouths and it will never go away. So I vote we all get comfortable with it. It's just a little more emphasis you know? I mean, fuck.

Relapse

I have fallen off the wagon.
My friends and I went to our favorite bar last night (and Irish pub) and sang some Irish music, had a fun time. It never fails that around 1 or 2 AM I start to get hungry.
All it takes is for someone to mention food and I'm like, "SNACKS! we need SNACKS!". Now, usually, we end up at Village Inn eating pie. But last night, we went to the Denver Diner. Now this place is open 24 hours and is the greasiest greasy spoon you can ever imagine, but it's right in the city and it's cheap (and good).
But could I just have an egg or something? no.
Years of pent up craving for biscuits and gravy finally came to a head last night and I caved. I ordered them...and a side of hash browns, extra ketchup please...
And oh they were delicious. I felt my cholesterol rising with every bite I took. Luckily, my saving grace was that I got full really quickly. I only managed to eat 2 of the 5 (Oh Jesus, 5 BISCUITS with gravy...these people don't mess around) and about half of my hashbrowns.
The sad part is that I have been working out as often as possible since I got home from Italy, which equals about 4-5 times a week and yesterday was the first day I actually could notice my pants fitting a little better. So, the only thing I can do is pick myself up, dust myself off, and get back on the fat free, low cal, whole grain diet that I have been on. The first step is recognizing you have a problem....

Another Rainy Day

And I love it! this is my kind of weather...like the Garbage song goes..."I'm only happy when it rains..." I don't know what it is about this kind of weather, but I feel like even if I am incredibly busy, i'm getting a "mental health day." There's something so therapeutic about it. I find that after a good, long rainy day I feel a little more "resolved" for lack of a better word. My body clock slows down and things start working themselves out the second the drops start to fall. I love that. On top of that, I am so much more productive on rainy days. It doesn't make me stay in or veg out- It makes me focus and reorganize. Unfortunately, being that I live in Colorado and it has like 363 sunny days a year, I don't get to enjoy a good rainy day too often. It usually rains for about ten minutes (if at all) and then blows over and the damn sun comes out.
I've thought about how I should move someplace like Seattle, I would be the most productive, balanced person ever. However, I would also have a house full of dog poop because my little princess won't get her paws wet when there is even a drizzle outside. This will not do.
Today is the second day in a row that it has rained in Denver. I look at it as a little gift just for me : ) The sound of the rain on my sky light, the darkness in my apartment that comes only with a grey day, the splashing sounds from the cars on the street below. I love it all.

Ahhh... The Great Outdoors

I forgot how beautiful Colorado is. First of all, because of the wet winter that we've had, the foothills are more green right now then I ever remember them being. Of course, the mountains are breathtaking as well. I definately don't go up there as much as I should and it is so close that I have no good excuse. My goal is to go a lot more this summer.
We had an awesome weekend. Caught lots of fish and had a great time. I caught 3 big ones on Saturday- one of which is in the picture- Luckily, Kelly cleaned them and Cara cooked them. Still, I was disgusted at having what once was in the lake, then on my hook, finally ending up on my plate. I think I just can't see them alive and and then as dinner. It grosses me out, I am hopeless. But damn good at catching them I must say.
Over all we had a blast and much needed break in the wilderness. I got really sunburned today so I will be paying for that for a while, but otherwise, it was a great trip- and a fun picture!

Gone Fishin'

I am going fishing today. I am so excited to get out of the city and escape to the quiet of the mountains. I love the feeling of being swallowed up in the trees- like you kind of disappear for a little bit. I can't wait. Plus, my two best friends are coming up with me and this will be the first time all three of us have gone on a trip in a very long time.
I'm having a bit of a dilemma though- I love fishing. I love everything about it- the tackle, the anticipation, the thrill of the catch (on the rare occasion it occurs), and I don't even mind the smell that much. But, last time Kelly and I did this trip we caught a lot of fish. Like twenty something in two days. We didn't keep all of them, but the few we did keep, we ate. I found the process of catching, cleaning, cooking, and eating of the fish to be revolting. By the time we got to the eating part, I was I little disgusted. Then, I felt really guilty because the little fish on my plate could have been out there swimming around and instead, I killed him (presumably for dinner) and then left his little fishy body on my plate with just a couple of bites missing. He didn't fulfill either of his fish destinies and it was all my fault. I don't really know how to get around this hiccup, but I'm thinking about throwing them all back (which I also feel bad about because then really what is the point in the first place?) or maybe I will look into some trout recipes... I'll let you all know how it goes when I get back! Wish me luck!

Gone Fishin'

I am going fishing today. I am so excited to get out of the city and escape to the quiet of the mountains. I love the feeling of being swallowed up in the trees- like you kind of disappear for a little bit. I can't wait. Plus, my two best friends are coming up with me and this will be the first time all three of us have gone on a trip in a very long time.
I'm having a bit of a dilemma though- I love fishing. I love everything about it- the tackle, the anticipation, the thrill of the catch (on the rare occasion it occurs), and I don't even mind the smell that much. But, last time Kelly and I did this trip we caught a lot of fish. Like twenty something in two days. We didn't keep all of them, but the few we did keep, we ate. I found the process of catching, cleaning, cooking, and eating of the fish to be revolting. By the time we got to the eating part, I was I little disgusted. Then, I felt really guilty because the little fish on my plate could have been out there swimming around and instead, I killed him (presumably for dinner) and then left his little fishy body on my plate with just a couple of bites missing. He didn't fulfill either of his fish destinies and it was all my fault. I don't really know how to get around this hiccup, but I'm thinking about throwing them all back (which I also feel bad about because then really what is the point in the first place?) or maybe I will look into some trout recipes... I'll let you all know how it goes when I get back! Wish me luck!

I Miss My Girls

It's not like I haven't been doing stuff. I've been going out at night and trying to be active and social. But I ache for Florence and my roommates. I know it's normal and why it is that I am having this, blah blah blah. I'm not looking for a solution out of you people, I know there isn't one (I'm the psych/soc. major, remember?) But I just want some bitch time.
I miss the beauty of Italy. The rolling hills of Tuscany visible two minutes after you've left the city. I miss the cheap groceries, the smell of the woodburning stoves, the cobblestone streets, taking the train to the beach, the mysteries around every corner, coming home and almost always having at least one roommate there to greet me. I miss Michelle's daily status reports on things like bodily functions that we all really didn't want to hear about but listened to anyway, Linda's constant upbeat attitude, Cara's tripping over her own feet at least once on the way to anywhere, and Danielle's constant "your mom" comments. It could be about anything. Michelle could say, "Kate, could you chop those carrots?" and Danielle would say, "Your mom chops carrots". The funny thing is that this is no surprise to me. At the time whenever these things would happen, I would recognize that those were the things that I was going to miss.
I can't tell you how many times I laughed so hard at dinner that I thought I would A) throw up B) choke C) All of the above. That is such a rare thing, to laugh like that, that often. And I just miss it so much. It's not that I don't like Denver or being around my friends and family, because I love them very much. But right now, it all just doesn't seem quite good enough. I don't know what to do about it except hope that it fades and I can once again sink into my life here.
When I left for my trip, I thought that the hardest part would be getting myself there- I never imagined that in fact the hardest part would be coming home.

The Unbelievable Mess That Is My House

So, i'm home (as all of you know). Things are o.k. here. I miss my roommates a lot, I miss Italy a lot. But there are some things about being home that I am happy about.
I am finding that my attention span here is really short. I can't even go to a movie without getting bored thirty minutes into it and wanting to go do something else. It feels weird to be sedentary and not be travelling around every weekend. What? I can't take a 2 hour train ride to go bask in the sun on the beach by the Mediterranean? Instead, i'm in the middle of the prairie...Colorado is a beautiful place...but it just doesn't compare. I went up into the foothills the other day with a friend and it was beautiful, but all I could think about was how much I missed Tuscany. I am planning on going to the mountains this weekend for a fishing trip and I am hoping that it will help me to settle in a little more.
Little Isabelle is finally happy to see me. She was giving me the silent treatment for a little while there but I think we're out of the woods and she is finally forgiving me.
So, I think I am going to keep the blog because it is fun to write in it and everyone has told me how much they enjoy reading it. Although it may not be as exciting as Italy, I'm still a quarky person who notices funny things here in the States too, so we'll give it a whirl!
Oh, and as for the title of the blog...my house looks like a "stuff" bomb went off in it. There is "stuff" EVERYWHERE. I can't even quite get a grasp on it because my attention span is too short to clean. So, as I get some put away, I pull more out and it is a never ending, losing battle.
Wish me luck.