I've Had It With Beef

Ok, so it's delicious and I like it in certain things. I like a good filet keeping some mash potatoes company. I love Philly Cheesesteak sandwiches (if those really count as beef, I mean, do we really know what that is?), and then there is my favorite...corned beef. I'm a fan of big juicy hamburgers (although, I'm not so sure it's the beef that I like there, but rather the pickles and lettuce and all those great condiments). Anyway, the point is that I like it.
My cholesterol however does not like it so much and so I have cut it almost completely from my diet. Now, my new war against beef comes at a funny time because one of my best friends, Cara, has just recently shared with me why she won't eat chicken. Her theory is that because chicken is sometimes so genetically modified (example, McDonalds making their chickens have huge breasts etc.) that it is terrible for you. She regaled us with grotesque tales of chickens with no feet, who never touch the ground blah blah blah we already know. I personally only get organic free range chicken and eggs when I do have to buy it so that I can at least THINK that the chickens weren't mutants before they were in my refrigerator. However, in this same debate (which by the way took place over some beers next to the lake with our fishing poles and some very confused looking guys that we had just met) I tried to tell Cara that while her theory about chicken may be true, eating beef and pork is just as disgusting and dangerous. I found the fact that she refused to eat only chicken on those grounds was ludicrous. She has this image of happy California cows out in a green pastures munching away on some lush grass. I tried to tell her that those farms do horrible things to them and feed them cow, etc., but she wouldn't listen. We started to scare our new friends at our heated livestock debate and so we let it go.
But I learned a new word today in biology class and that word is Prion. Ever heard of prions? I had not, so I am going to assume most of you hadn't as well and explain it to you (I took good notes). A prion is a protein found on cells in the nervous system. They're good yada yada yada. Now sometimes, prions mutate- it happens- you know, "Mutated Prions Happen".
Anyway, that is ok. But when these mutated prions somehow get loose from their cells (scientists still don't know why they mutate or how they get loose) they become really bad prions. When these evildoer prions meet normal, good citizen prions they mutate them as well. Eventually, they follow the nervous system up to the brain and mutate all of the prions up there (this takes a bit of time ) until the host of the said brain and nervous system loses coordination, gets dementia, and eventually dies...very slowly.
This my friends is Mad Cow Disease, Chronic Wasting Disease, etc.
The tricky thing about these mysterious mutated prions is that they are indestructable. Nothing kills them. While prions disease is very rare, it is in the United States along with both the other above diseases. A few years ago there was a man getting brain surgery (can't remember which state) and a few weeks later the doctors realized he had prions disease. Problem is that the sterilization process for surgery tools does not kill mutated prions and therefore any patient that had surgery with those same tools following his surgery could possibly be infected.
It is still very difficult to test cows for Mad Cow disease until they are 2 years old or older- this is often times older then they are when they go to slaughter. Not only is the public in danger from eating a slaughtered Mad Cow Disease cow, but the slaughterhouse equipment used to process the meat will contaminate every other piece of meat that goes through those machines.
They say the incubation period for these diseases is around 10 years so the people that could be effected by this disease won't even know for quite some time.
And that is why I am waging war against the cow. I'm sure it's too late because if I was going to get the disease I've already been exposed for a long time but I figure, it can't hurt my odds. Plus, it will help my cholesterol.
So, that is your biology lesson for the day compliments of me...and all you Atkins dieters out there may want to switch to tofu because nothing is safe now-you can cook that steak 'till the cows come home- pun intended- and those prions will just laugh in your face...duh duh dahhhhhhhhhh.