Repetitive Noises and Stupid People

I think there need to be revised rules regarding etiquette when in public and because I seem to be the only person who notices these things, I will volunteer myself to be the person for the job.

Rule #1- If you are clanking two solid objects together, they ARE making a noise. Just because you have your headphones on and can't hear it, doesn't mean it isn't happening in the reality of the real world. When people stare at you like they want to rip your face off, it means you are annoying them and can probably jump to the conclusion that it is due to the repetitive noise that you are making.

Rule #2- Talking to yourself is some situations is expected. Some of my very favorite people talk to themselves occasionally, and it is just fine. However, it is an entirely different animal if you choose to sit and talk to open space. If i'm sitting next to you and I don't know you, I don't care if you can see the chalkboard, if you did your reading for the class, or if you got a question right. These vocal outbursts only signify to me that you are of such little intelligence that you need someone with you to help you at all times and this certainly does not make me want to be the person sitting next to you. EVER.

Rule #3- Every time you clear your throat, someone hears you. To imagine that the sound of you clearing your throat is something that only you have to experience is more evidence of how self-centered people in today's society are. When you clear your throat every ten seconds or suck air through your teeth after you eat, people hear you-and it makes me want to stick my pen through my eye hole, into my brain, and jiggle it around until I can't hear you anymore. If you have to clear your throat more than once, you should just take the plunge and COUGH. I dare you to try it.

The moral of these rules is that if you are making a noise that isn't enclosed in your own head, people around you can hear it. Presuming that people want to hear you whistle, clear your throat, tap your pen, suck your teeth, or talk outloud to no one is the most blatant statement of self-centered idiocracy that a person can make.

How the hell am I expected to study Aristotle while the stupid people are making noises?