Doctors Versus lawyers

So for the last few days I have been wondering- Who is intellectually superior? A doctor or a lawyer? I mean, they both go through incredibly rigorous schooling to get where they are. They both have to deal with high pressure situations. But what I am really getting at is, if you put a doctor and a lawyer in a cage fight, who would win? I don't mean like a pediatrician or a tax attorney. I am talking about a hardcore surgeon versus a bad ass trial attorney. Supposing that artery cutting was against the rules, (because that would give the surgeon a clear advantage if it were not), who would be smarter and meaner? I have to say that the conclusion that I have finally come to is this- and you can think I am biased if you wish- but I think that even though attorneys act like they are G-d, I think that when a surgeon is in the operating room saving a person's life, they really have to think they're G-d, and therefore the surgeon would always emerge victorious. So there is my choice. In a cage fight between a trial attorney or an emergency room trauma surgeon, the trauma surgeon would be the victor. Plus, they know like a thousand ways to kill a person, and an attorney is just really good at forming an argument. No one cares about argument fallacies in a cage fight. Duh.

These Guys Are Just So Funny

These Guys Are Just So Funny

Health Insurance

Health insurance INFURIATES me. I can safely say that I hate health insurance providers so much that it actually triggers this rage that starts at the pit of my stomach and carries all the way up my throat and to my mouth- so I have to hang up the phone on the poor customer service woman for Aetna before my rage jumps through the phone and strangles her (since it isn't her fault at all).
I am not insured through my work because I am not a "salaried" employee- which is fine- so I have my own insurance that I pay for. I pay Aetna a ridiculous amount of money every month, yet every time I go to the doctor, I get a bill because there is some part that my insurance won't pay. You have no idea how much it pisses me off- considering that getting the insurance in the first place was a hassle because I have high cholesterol. Then you wonder if G-d forbid anything big happens if they'll actually cover you, or if they'll dig through your application and find that since you had a pre-condition of a hang nail in 3rd grade, you're not eligible for benefits anymore. How is it possible that they won't pay for ANY lab work until you reach a $1,000 deductible? How fricken likely is it that I would meet a $1000 deductible in lab work in a year? not very. I mean how much does a throat culture cost? Plus, after that they only cover 80%. I hate, hate, hate them. I feel like the insurance companies are robbing and ripping off the American people every day of the year and no one does anything. I seriously think that socialized medicine must be better than this- whether or not it raises taxes or you can't get what you want as quickly- because this is B.S. and I think that all of these insurance companies should be put out of business and not allowed to rip off the American people anymore. It is such a disgusting conspiracy.
This soap box message was brought to you by Aetna crap crap crappy.
I feel better now. I had to write it out or else I was seriously going to scream at that poor woman on the phone. I bet she gets screamed at a lot.

Last Night's Debate

I watched the final presidential debate last night, as many people did, and I walked away with a couple of favorite moments I'd like to share with you. First of all, be forewarned that this is a biased analysis- so if you are easily politically offended... don't read on.

First of all, I would like to start on a note not really related to any issue except what my friends and I refer to as the "lizard" issue. I don't know if any of you have noticed McCain's habit of sticking his tongue out like a reptile in between words and sentences, but my friends and I have found it to be a distracting factor when watching him speak. So last night we decided to tally his "lizard" tongue moves... and disturbingly enough, we counted 72 times that he stuck his tongue out, made that slurping noise, and sucked it back in. Ew. I felt violated. Do we really want a president that does that? Someone needs to talk to him about it.

Ok, so moving on from the disgust-- my favorite line from Obama last night happened after McCain had gone on and on about how Obama hadn't voted to save babies- calmly and cooly, Obama responded, "If it sounds incredible that I would vote to withhold life-saving treatment from an infant, that's because it's not true." It was actually one of the only times that Obama sounded like he was fighting back. I love Obama, but I have to say that during the debate I wanted him to man up a little bit. It reflects highly on him that he was able to stay so cool and rational while McCain was next to him slurping and rapidly blinking- but I wanted him to draw a line. He got bullied for a lot of the debate. Even though the second half definitely had Obama expressing his views better than McCain, he still got bullied. McCain would interrupt him and he would just stop talking. I wanted him to whack McCain on the nose with the newspaper at least once- even if it was subtle- just so we could see him exercise that back bone that I am almost positive he has. I don't know why he took all of that abuse without firing back a little more. At any rate, Obama definitely (in my opinion) appeared to be more in control of himself between the two, although I may just be biased because I am still upset that McCain called his wife a "trollup" and a "c*@t" in front of reporters at a benefit and no one is saying anything about that (ok so it was in 1992...but still...). It looks and sounds to me like John needs some anger management counseling.

My second favorite moment in the debate was when they were discussing Roe V. Wade and if the candidates would allow someone to be nominated into the supreme court if they disagreed with their particular view on the subject. Here is the video of McCain's response to that question:



I couldn't believe my ears when McCain said that he would never impose a litmus test on any nominee to the court and only consider the nominee's qualifications- then he says, "I don't believe someone who supported Roe V. Wade would meet those qualifications" WHAT!!!??? What did that guy just say?!?!? So John won't use his ideologies to make a decision, but since he thinks Roe V. Wade was a bad decision, if you don't too then you just aren't "qualified". Sorry. That scares me. Wow.

So those were my two favorite moments, broken up of course by the 72 incidents of tongue jabbing that McCain perpetrated (and don't forget the slurping sounds). I am relieved that the debates are over because while I want to watch them, I am so infuriated by John McCain AND Sarah Palin that I don't think I can really take it anymore. Even if you take out all of the politics, the two of them together are such a freak show on their own that they should drop out of the election and join a circus. There you have it folks- my conclusion: Obama for President, McCain/Palin for the greatest show on Earth.

House Fly

It has been cold in Denver lately- the other morning it dropped below freezing. For the last week or so, I have had an unwanted house guest in the form of a little black fly. I assumed at first that the fly was in my house due to the temperature drop and figured that since the life span of a fly is something like 48 hours, that it wouldn't be an issue. That was not the case. This fly has been alive and kicking all week. It also has a bizarre habit that is making me crazy.
I will not see this fly all day or night. However, as soon as it hits around 9 AM, the fly buzzes around my face and head. It lands on me and in my sleep I feel certain it is trying to crawl into my ear. For the last week, every morning consists of me smacking myself in the head repeatedly trying to kill the fly- and who wants to smash a fly on their own head? I swat the fly away and 10 minutes later it is back. It's so annoying that the Chihuahua even makes a couple attempts to grab it mid-air.
This morning I looked it up, and apparently the common house fly has a life expectancy of 20-30 days...Who knew?
So I am bound and determined to get that thing. I am going to find the thickest magazine I have and go hunting for it because I am sick of hitting myself in the head every morning- It will not ruin my mornings for 3 more weeks...

Lesson Learned.

So it was a rainy day here in Denver. My favorite kind of weather... everything slows down- you almost feel everyone around you stop to take a deep breath. I love it. And who doesn't love puddles, I mean really?



This kid learned the hard way what can go wrong during a good session of puddle hopping. For all of you in Denver, keep this in mind the next time you're tempted...

This is funny...

Sorry to be posting this on the eve of Yom Kippur, but I think that the Jews that read this will get a kick out of it (and the non-Jews too). Sarah Silverman (who is a Jewish comedian that EVERYONE tells me I look like ) has started this hilarious website called "The Great Schlep". The purpose is for young Jewish kids to blackmail their grandparents (in Florida) into voting for Obama by schlepping down to Florida to visit them. Check out the video...but be warned, it is a little explicit.


The Great Schlep from The Great Schlep on Vimeo.

Glow in the dark mini golf

When people ask what I do for work these days, I say,"I get my a** kicked and watch Shrek". That is simply the best description of it. Either I am solving some acute crisis or I am doing fun stuff like watching movies and playing. Unfortunately, it is never predictable, so some days it's all crisis and no play, and others it is mostly play. We took the kids from work to play glow in the dark miniature golf the other night and it was AWESOME. The kids didn't seem nearly as enchanted by the whole thing as I was. The whole room was lit by a black light, and the course was painted completely with paint that glows in black light. It was like stepping into into some psychedelic world. At first I thought it was just going to give me a major headache, but it turned out that something about the light and the paint sent me into a very relaxed state. While I was in there, I kept thinking about what it would be like to turn your house into something like this. I think it would make you really kooky after a while, but it was just so quiet and relaxing! Bizarre, I know, but I thought it would be kind of cool. Like living in Alice's Wonderland at night....

V.P. Debate

I don't want to talk politics, or analyze the debate last night (although, from what I saw, it was a massacre), but I do want to discuss Sarah Palin. All I have to say is that if she gets elected, I will never be able to turn the television on again, in fear that I might hear her talking. It doesn't even matter what she is saying. Her sugar sweet, cutesy act in combination with her "golly gee wiz" phrasing and her Fargo accent makes me throw up in my mouth a little. Every time someone asks her a question that she doesn't know the answer to, she just shifts into this school girl regression that not only annoys me, but it frankly freaks me out. It is obvious that she is one of those crazy women that talks like that while they're ripping your throat out... can we say passive aggressive? ugh, I just can't stand her. I live in fear of hearing her speak-- especially after the debate last night. I only watched a little bit, but I got a lifetime's worth of her ridiculous Alaskan soccer Mom act. I bet she's the soccer Mom that goes all Tanya Harding on some little kid before the game. I sense a little crazy under there....