Gone Fishin'

I am going fishing today. I am so excited to get out of the city and escape to the quiet of the mountains. I love the feeling of being swallowed up in the trees- like you kind of disappear for a little bit. I can't wait. Plus, my two best friends are coming up with me and this will be the first time all three of us have gone on a trip in a very long time.
I'm having a bit of a dilemma though- I love fishing. I love everything about it- the tackle, the anticipation, the thrill of the catch (on the rare occasion it occurs), and I don't even mind the smell that much. But, last time Kelly and I did this trip we caught a lot of fish. Like twenty something in two days. We didn't keep all of them, but the few we did keep, we ate. I found the process of catching, cleaning, cooking, and eating of the fish to be revolting. By the time we got to the eating part, I was I little disgusted. Then, I felt really guilty because the little fish on my plate could have been out there swimming around and instead, I killed him (presumably for dinner) and then left his little fishy body on my plate with just a couple of bites missing. He didn't fulfill either of his fish destinies and it was all my fault. I don't really know how to get around this hiccup, but I'm thinking about throwing them all back (which I also feel bad about because then really what is the point in the first place?) or maybe I will look into some trout recipes... I'll let you all know how it goes when I get back! Wish me luck!