What The ____?

I had one of the most bizarre dreams that I've had in a long time last night. I thought I would share it with you- even though I hate listening to people's dreams....Maybe one of you will have a good interpretation for me. It doesn't flow together in one story so it's just snippets.

The first part I remember is that we're in a time that is a mixture of modern and Renaissance....we go everywhere on horseback, but there are modern things. It's weird.

So anyway, my brother who is in the dream informs me that my horse, Hugo, has died in the next room. Of course this is very upsetting, and I proceed to cry for the duration of the dream. But, it gets worse. Somehow through the process of elimination, I determine that James and someone else (can't remember who) dismembered my beloved horse to get him out of the house. There is blood everywhere and I am obviously distraught, and no one else thinks this is out of the ordinary.

Next, we are at a castle, where there is a queen that wants us dead (of course). But we're hiding so no one knows we're there. We over hear some men (dressed like knights of course) discussing how they had found something....scroll over, and there are my dead horses' body parts. Legs, neck, head, etc. This of course extends my already distraught weeping (still, no one else seems to mind that Hugo's dismembered legs are lying around).

So I go to the modern bathroom (not sure why the mixed time period, but then again, does any of it make sense?) where I run into two friends that I have not seen since high school. We wait in line for a toilet. I go in and when I turn around, there is a little blonde girl in the stall with me. She starts using the toilet and then starts sticking her hands in there. I start freaking out and leave.

Then, I am trying to leave the castle, and the bad guys have seen me. Right as they are coming to get me this lady rides up with her daughter on a little palomino pony. The lady offers me the pony to escape, I hop on, and begin galloping away. These bad people with swords are right on my tail (that saying really makes sense now...) and this pony will not go any faster. I'm thinking they're going to catch me. And then.... a cell phone rings. Yeah, there is a cell phone case with a phone attached to the saddle. I answer, while galloping mind you, and there is someone on the phone that I have not talked to in quite a while, and we would not be talking. This person wants to know how I am, etc., I am trying to escape the knights on horseback, and it looks bad.

Finally, the knights give up the chase, the person on the phone arrives in reality and is walking along side me on my pony, then a lot of other people show up. I think at this point I am still crying because of Hugo. We get back to our "house" or whatever, and I start trying to find a t-shirt in my things. All of my shirts are folded up in big, clear plastic bags. And they are all covered in mildew, from being sealed in there and wet. I grab one and begin walking somewhere to get away from everyone...

Then I woke up to my alarm. I feel really weird right now...like my brain is totally confused. I feel like I should be devastatingly upset about something and crying, but obviously, everything is fine. I think maybe it will take my mind a little while to recover. I also still have that anxious, "people are chasing me and I can't go any faster" feeling too.

So anyway, sorry to bore you with my story, but what the ____ does all that mean? I feel like there must be little tidbits of reality in there. Sometimes I think that if you really paid attention to your dreams, you may find the answers to your questions. Like that is the cryptic way of your mind figuring things out. I mean, obviously, I can pick out emotions from the dream and equate them to things I feel in reality. But what about the little bizarre things...? what if they are symbols that I could totally figure out and use? Seems like such a waste for a tall tale to not be used for something...Especially one as unpleasant as this one... mildew and all.

Sunday Funny

Life is rough as a person who reports the news....

Sunday Funny

If you haven't seen the movie, "Down Periscope" starring Kelsey Grammar, you must rent it! My brother and I have some favorite comedies, and this is definitely one of them....

Away

What's the deal with being just a couple hours away from home and feeling like you could be on another planet? I came up to the mountains yesterday, and on my drive up here, I suddenly felt so free. Like I was slowly shedding my stress skin on the drive up here until when I finally reached the cabin I felt totally away from everything. I had this thought of, "no one can bug me up here", and then I thought, who? Who is bugging me? no one. And even if people were bugging me they would be doing it the same way they do it when I am home-- on the phone. It's not like people show up spontaneously at my door....

And anything that might be bothering me right now is certainly still valid 90 mins outside of the city. Just because I am sleeping in a different bed doesn't mean that I am in a different universe. So what is it then that makes this seem so far away? It is an odd sensation, but I am glad that it's here. It's nice to have a little hideaway to run to now and then. And I can fool myself into thinking that I am escaping something if that gives me some sense of freedom... why not?

So, I am in the mountains, and apparently non of my demons can find me up here.

Sunday Funny

A couple weeks ago when I was sick in bed (you may remember the popsicle rant), I was watching television one night and Roseanne was on. For some reason I just love that show. This episode was on and it really cracked me up. Here is the funniest scene....

These Are The Days Of Our Lives

I have to say that I am a little confused.
For as long as I can remember, I always believed that when you hit your twenties and graduate college that those days are considered the best days of your life. I don't know where I got this idea from, but it must have been conditioned into me because I have always believed this. Plus, I guess you assume that you're going to be young still, but old enough to be on your own, yet you have less responsibility than when you get older. I don't know. All I am saying is this is what I thought. And it's a sham. I am still waiting for this time period that people describe as the "best time of their life". It certainly isn't when you are young and limited by all the rules that go along with being young. It definitely is NOT in high school when 9/10 kids are miserable, hormonal, little aliens. And finally, it is not now. This business is miserable. This whole not knowing where you are going, what you are doing, what you like, etc. I don't know anything anymore. I have spent so much time trying to figure out what the hell I am doing that I am totally confused. It's like looking at a random word- lets say "Pizza", and the more you look at the word, the weirder it looks until finally you are starting to doubt that is how it is spelled and that it's a word at all. I feel that way about myself right now. A good way to describe how I feel would be if you took each aspect of who I am- likes, dislikes, characteristics, hopes, dreams, fears, etc. If you took all of those pieces, put them in a bag, and shook them up all over the place. You know what I am right now? I am Mr. Potato Head. Yes. (Pardon me, but I am in the middle of an epiphany). I guess I am Mrs. Potato head. And I am so fricken confused about myself that I could put my shoe in my ear and my nose on my foot. I have all these pieces and I am supposed to do something with them, but who knows what. And the more I take pieces out and put pieces in, the more of a bizarre mess the whole thing becomes.
Ah. I love this. This is nice. I expected a lot of things about graduating school and moving on to new things, but I definitely didn't anticipate this total blank confusion that slowly engulfs you. And you don't even see it coming until it's too late.
And you know the worst part? some day I will look back on this, and I will probably think this was the best time in my life and I wasted it away looking for my self-identity when I should have been getting drunk every night, eating pie for breakfast, and not giving a damn about what direction I am going in.
That is the cruel irony about life. You have to try really hard to enjoy the moment, because while now seems bad, later might be worse, and I could end up longing for this type of bad versus what I am in for in the future. This sounds bleak- I don't mean "bad" like I am going to have a bad life, I mean "bad" like in comparison to now being bad. Aren't you glad you're reading this? feel like jumping off of a bridge? well don't. The upside is that being aware is the secret. I think if you don't let it slip by and try to enjoy it for what it is, you'll never have regrets. Whatever thing is bothering you today shouldn't keep you from enjoying the mystery of life, and if you do that and remain FLEXIBLE, then the rest are just stupid details to your story. When you are ninety, you're not going to remember the misery of being confused and in your twenties. You'll remember how much you laughed, and the fun that you had, and that you lived your life every day despite being so damn confused. So what if I am Mrs. Potato head? I will just have to live right now with a shoe in my ear, and that's just the way it is......

Sunday Funny

Another "Sunday Funny" courtesy of the guys at "The Office". What can I say, these guys just keep 'em coming.