Valuable lesson #1 learned yesterday. Anyone who knows me knows my sense of direction is that of a rock. I can get lost anywhere...even if it is somewhere I have been a thousand times. I have come to the conclusion that it is an actual disability. Seriously. So you can imagine that in this city of weird winding roads that change name randomly and end randomly, I'm kind of in trouble. I get lost everytime I leave the house. Yesterday I left the Piazza Della Republica and headed to my apartment to use the restroom. The walk should take about 5 minutes and is almost a straight shot. I managed to get lost and as I was wandering the crowded streets, I kept hearing the line from "What About Bob" echoing in my head... "What if I can't find a bathroom and my bladder explodes?" but seriously, I was wondering what the Italians would think if an American girl suddenly peed in her pants by the Duomo...Luckily, I found my apartment in time and to my relief, my bladder did not explode.
Valuable lesson #2- This one was learned this morning and is compliments of my roommate Danielle (the same one who brushed her teeth with dish soap by accident). We were in a cafe where Danielle got an espresso, and as we were leaving, she was trying to put her change away. Now, she wears one of those Rick Steves money belts that goes in your pants (something I have always openly mocked, not because of it's lack of usefullness, because it is a good idea, but because of the pure ridiculousness of it). Besides, Rick Steves is so creepy anyway that the money belt is just another thing...ANYWAY. All of the Italians are wearing tall boots over their jeans these days and some of the girls have purchased some boots. So, Danielle, in her boots, was putting the money into her money belt. Picture this, American girl with a giant backpack (being worn in the front for security reasons) is walking down the street with her hand in her pants when she JUST DROPS ALL OF THE CHANGE DOWN HER PANTS. All I heard was a weird noise, look back and there's Danielle, frozen on the sidewalk with her hand in her pants, as her change slides down her legs slowly and into her boots. She jingled the entire way to school. Thought I was going to die it was so funny. Rick Steves should warn people about that...
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5 comments:
Number 1: You come by the sense of direction naturally. Bubby gets lost trying to find her way back to the table from the restroom in a restaurant.
Number 2: Perhaps Rick Steves should take a lesson from Danielle, and start wearing his pants in his boots - forget the money belt!
Great stories.
Rick Steves is creeeeepy! We have a book by him called Europe Through the Back Door, and I SWEAR you could interpret about 256897927686 of it's entries to being about gay sex and Mr. Steves being in the closet.
Your lack of the direction gene puts you in good company with Bubby and Cousin Shirley (In a restaurant, she has to be guided TO the restroom before being guided BACK to the table.)
I'm laughing out loud here so that I nearly peed in my pants, but there are no Italians around to witness it.
So can I extrapolate that Valuable Lesson #1 is something like "Don't set off anywhere in Florence with a full bladder," and #2 is something like "Don't stick a hand full of coins down the front of your pants"?
xoxo, Nancy
That would be a great summary of lesson #1 and #2!!! I'm just trying to help you people out here. I guess I should feel fortunate that I can make it from the bathroom back to my table and stop feeling bad about getting lost in a strange city...
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