My computer hates me.

It's not that I hate my computer-- I would really like to have a good relationship with my computer. But every time I think we're doing ok, Orion (that's my computer's name) decides to let me know that things really aren't ok at all. First of all, I would like to preface this by saying that all of my gadgets, be it my phone, computer, or printer are in cahoots with each other. It is running joke in my family that any time I buy anything, I should immediately return it because it will inevitably be defective in some way. Every purchase I make actually requires at least two visits to the store- without exception. My computer was one of these items. And now that the computer, phone and printer all sit on the desk together, they think it's funny to mess with my head. My printer currently is not working and I haven't had the patience to attempt to figure out why, so for months now it has been collecting dust. My computer refuses to let me connect to my wifi connection. This is particularly annoying when I want to use my computer to watch t.v. shows and I have to sit at my desk. Who can really relax watching a show whilst sitting at a desk? no one. I tried yet again to fix this issue today to no avail. I'll admit that some of these issues are human error. However, I know for a fact that some of the problem is that my computer hates me. It does inexplicable things that don't make sense (even to the mac geniuses) and this is how I know that it is possessed and it likes to make things difficult. I wish that we could find some way to work this out... but I fear that the frustration is taking hold of me, and I daydream about taking my printer, computer, modem, and phone, heaving them onto the train tracks, and setting them on fire. Or doing this: