The last few days I have been in a funk. I'm sure it is a combination of things. One, I was sick all weekend. There's nothing that makes you feel more isolated than being sick and far away from home. So, I felt a little homesick because of it. I have also been feeling really confused about going back home in a few weeks. On one hand, I am excited. I miss my life- my life that is sort of frozen to me over there across the ocean...
On the other hand, I love it here and don't really want to leave. It is a difficult thing because it will be hard to leave and hard to be home. I'm a little worried that once I get back, my ordinary life won't seem good enough-or maybe just really bland by comparison. So there's that. That can make anyone feel a little funky. I am also the type of person who needs some good alone time. I used to think I needed it a lot more than I do because for the last 3 months I haven't wanted to be alone at all. But this weekend I have really valued my single room. I have been hiding out in there a lot.
However, today is better. I woke up and felt well enough to make the long trek to the laundry place. I washed my sheets and blankets- the best thing to do after laying in bed sick for a few days straight. So, I've got a new bed, the sun is shining, and my friend Kelly is coming in today. She should be arriving sometime this afternoon and that will be nice. A little bit of home coming to see me. So, I think I'm sinking back into the groove of things and hopefully this funk will continue to fade away.
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I'm glad that you are acknowledging your funk and allowing yourself to ride through it. You've grown so much over the last few months--it wasn't that long ago that you were terrified to go and now you're feeling sad to leave! I hope you are feeling better today. xoxoxo
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