How Woman Can Maneuver In Home Depot

I have had to go to Home Depot a lot lately- just for random stuff. It was really challenging at first, but I finally figured out how to make Home Depot really easy. So, first of all, I always felt awkward there- like the minority. It's all men usually, with a few scattered women. Not only that, but it always seems like the men know exactly what they need and where to find it (I know this is a typical illusion). At first, I would go in there and feel totally overwhelmed at the immensity of the warehouse, the non-existence of any kind of directory (WHY???), and the space that you have to cover to get from one side to the other when you are wondering aimlessly. So all you ladies out there- this is how to do it:

1. Go into the doors, and randomly pick an aisle, any aisle. I don't care if you are looking for gardening gloves and you end up in lumber.

2. Then, stand about 1/4 of the way into the aisle- close enough to the end for someone to easily speak to you on their way by.

3. Finally, stand with an overwhelmed helplessness that tells everyone you need assistance- really let your eyes glaze over. Arms hang listlessly to your side, eyes looking up at the tall shelves.

I am telling you that some man- whether he works at the store or not will come and ask if you need help, he'll tell you what aisle it is in, and he will probably even walk you there to make sure that your incompetent self won't get lost along the way. He won't even judge you for being in a ludicrous aisle to begin with- you are simply a helpless female drowning in a sea of power tools and men. He'll fight the urge to say, "There, there" and go find you a warm blanket to wrap around your shoulders.

But seriously, this works. Try it next time. Today I found the ladders all by myself, but there was no one in sight to get one down for me. So, I ended up in fencing, glazed over, and about 5 mins later some man came and asked if he could help me. I took him back to the ladder and he retrieved it for me. No idea if he worked there or not. Who cares? These men feel so in power of their domain at Home Depot that they like need to show someone that they know how. I think that this is really an untapped resource ladies. Follow the plan and get in and out of the Depot in record time....