These Are The Days Of Our Lives

I have to say that I am a little confused.
For as long as I can remember, I always believed that when you hit your twenties and graduate college that those days are considered the best days of your life. I don't know where I got this idea from, but it must have been conditioned into me because I have always believed this. Plus, I guess you assume that you're going to be young still, but old enough to be on your own, yet you have less responsibility than when you get older. I don't know. All I am saying is this is what I thought. And it's a sham. I am still waiting for this time period that people describe as the "best time of their life". It certainly isn't when you are young and limited by all the rules that go along with being young. It definitely is NOT in high school when 9/10 kids are miserable, hormonal, little aliens. And finally, it is not now. This business is miserable. This whole not knowing where you are going, what you are doing, what you like, etc. I don't know anything anymore. I have spent so much time trying to figure out what the hell I am doing that I am totally confused. It's like looking at a random word- lets say "Pizza", and the more you look at the word, the weirder it looks until finally you are starting to doubt that is how it is spelled and that it's a word at all. I feel that way about myself right now. A good way to describe how I feel would be if you took each aspect of who I am- likes, dislikes, characteristics, hopes, dreams, fears, etc. If you took all of those pieces, put them in a bag, and shook them up all over the place. You know what I am right now? I am Mr. Potato Head. Yes. (Pardon me, but I am in the middle of an epiphany). I guess I am Mrs. Potato head. And I am so fricken confused about myself that I could put my shoe in my ear and my nose on my foot. I have all these pieces and I am supposed to do something with them, but who knows what. And the more I take pieces out and put pieces in, the more of a bizarre mess the whole thing becomes.
Ah. I love this. This is nice. I expected a lot of things about graduating school and moving on to new things, but I definitely didn't anticipate this total blank confusion that slowly engulfs you. And you don't even see it coming until it's too late.
And you know the worst part? some day I will look back on this, and I will probably think this was the best time in my life and I wasted it away looking for my self-identity when I should have been getting drunk every night, eating pie for breakfast, and not giving a damn about what direction I am going in.
That is the cruel irony about life. You have to try really hard to enjoy the moment, because while now seems bad, later might be worse, and I could end up longing for this type of bad versus what I am in for in the future. This sounds bleak- I don't mean "bad" like I am going to have a bad life, I mean "bad" like in comparison to now being bad. Aren't you glad you're reading this? feel like jumping off of a bridge? well don't. The upside is that being aware is the secret. I think if you don't let it slip by and try to enjoy it for what it is, you'll never have regrets. Whatever thing is bothering you today shouldn't keep you from enjoying the mystery of life, and if you do that and remain FLEXIBLE, then the rest are just stupid details to your story. When you are ninety, you're not going to remember the misery of being confused and in your twenties. You'll remember how much you laughed, and the fun that you had, and that you lived your life every day despite being so damn confused. So what if I am Mrs. Potato head? I will just have to live right now with a shoe in my ear, and that's just the way it is......